


Floater

by rustedamulet



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Bondage, Cunnilingus, Dirty Talk, Dom!Kylo Ren, Dom/sub, Double Penetration, Dubious Consent, Exhibitionism, F/M, Facial Ejaculation, Fingerfucking, Force Choke, Forced Orgasm, Hurt/Comfort, Inappropriate Use of the Force, Masturbation, Maybe a stretch to tag it as so but whateva, Mouthfucking, Oral Sex, Reader-Insert, Shameless Smut, Smut, Somnophilia, Squirting, Tongue Fucking, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, Verbal Humiliation, it's consensual but could be viewed otherwise, sub!Reader, what am I doing with my life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-13
Updated: 2016-03-21
Packaged: 2018-05-13 17:30:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 19,904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5710981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rustedamulet/pseuds/rustedamulet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She knew her choice of occupation had led to her demise. She knew her life was in the hands of the First Order, and more specifically the man in black named Kylo Ren. It felt surreal to be staring death in the face, strapped to a table against her will, forced to endure a painful interrogation. That is until something changes within him. The man spares her, but at a cost.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Who Sent You?

**Author's Note:**

> hi i'm jenny & i am stupidly obsessed with kylo ren. bc i'm a complete perv with dom kinks, i hereby bring you this trash of a story. enjoy!!!!
> 
> okay so like seriously, this is my first work in the sw fandom, first time i've written in AGES & first time i've written smut...in also aGES. english is rly hard for me at times so i hope any grammatical errors aren't too unbearable lol. ~~titles are dumb, & i hate having to figure one out.~~ (Sorry for any confusion w/the change of title. it has come to my attention that there was a fic w/the exact same name so SORRY!!!) hope nothing is too terribly OOC cuz i've only seen the movie like twice but it's hard to concentrate on ren's dialogue when all you can think about is sitting on his face (oops). i'm a filthy fuckin person but have no regrets. okay bye.

* * *

Being a mercenary wasn't always an honest way of living.

There were times she would have to bend the rules in order to get whatever job she was assigned done. It's not as if she was abiding by any, seeing as she works independently. She does have morals, some might find that hard to believe. But when struggling to eat becomes a factor, the lines that divide right and wrong become blurred.

She had finally been given a job, after roaming around aimlessly for one, on whatever planet she was staying on temporarily - it was always a temporal thing. It seemed easy enough too. Sneak onto a freighter that had just landed, get her hands on as much as she could and get the fuck out of there undetected. The payout was big, plus she's done reconnaissance jobs before, so she's got this - she thought.

So she prepared herself, wearing attire that would hide most of her face for obvious reasons. She strapped on a voice changer as a safety precaution because she doesn't want her identity to be revealed. She felt prepared for this.

What she hadn't realized is that the freighter that she had broken into wasn't owned by just anyone. What she hadn't found out until it was too late, and she's trapped inside cargo, is that the same freighter was destined for departure and headed into unfriendly territory.

By the time the freighter had docked and she had been discovered, she was too beat to give a decent fight. The Stormtroopers had knocked her around until their Captain made her presence. They had reasons to believe that she sneaked on as part of the Resistance's plan to gain intel on the First Order. She tried to explain, but to no avail.

She was taken as a prisoner and relocated into a holding cell with others who had posed as a threat to the First Order. One by one, she watched as the others went in for interrogation - never to return. She only knew it was a matter of time before the Stormtroopers would come for her.

And when it was finally her turn, she gave a fight.

It didn't end well. Blood was drawn, mostly hers and they were ordered to make an example of her by their Captain. After being tossed around like a rag-doll, they finally escorted her to her demise.

* * *

The Stormtroopers strapped her in onto a table that rested at an elevated angle. No matter how hard she tried to struggle, she couldn't budge or loosen up the restraints. It pained her to do so with every wiggle of her body. She didn't have much time to register just how fucked she truly was until the only door in the room opened and in walked the same Chrome Stormtrooper from earlier and a man she didn't recognize. His face was hardened and his black outfit was pristine, ginger hair parted in the middle.

"So, you were the one who caused the ruckus from earlier." He slowly started to walk around the table, scrutinizing her every feature. He paused. "He's going to have a field day with you."

She tried to lunge forward while restrained, and the man guffawed and left with the Stormtrooper. She heard them conversing about her as they exited the room, and once again she was left by herself.

She glanced down at her restraints, saw her dried blood that tainted her worn down clothes. She tugged, viciously at the cuffs but it was no use. Each tug at her skin sent sparks of pain throughout her body, and it frighten her to death to know that this pain would be the greatest of ease compared to what she knew she was going to endure.

The doors hissed open and in comes another man she didn't recognize. He stood, menacingly, a jet black robe flowing around his towering body. A hood framing his face, which she can't see because it's hidden behind a metallic looking mask. It was covered in a few dents and scratches, which led her to believe that he has been in battles before. He took a few steps, which led him a few feet in front of her strapped down body. Then there was silence for a few seconds. "I want to know who sent you." His voice rumbled, disguised with a voice changer. That made two of them.

She didn't respond, but instead was frozen and lost all hope to try breaking her way free.

He took one step forward, which caused him to tower over her even more so than earlier. "Who sent you? The Resistance?" He pressed again, this time, he's pissed and she heard it in his voice. "Understand that I have means to find out what I need to know if you refuse to answer me." He reached one hand out towards her forehead.

All of a sudden an overwhelming pressure is building within her head. An ear-piercing ringing bounced around her mind and she felt herself painfully grinding her teeth to hold in the screams she wanted to release. But she is weak. A loud groan echoed the room as her mind goes mad with the memories of her business deal made earlier. She thought her head was about to split in half from all the agony until the man released his mental hold on her. Suddenly she was gasping for air, the pounding in her head finally going away.

He looked long and hard at her before he spoke. "Living a life fueled by greed will get you nowhere, _thief_. " He spat before turning around to leave the room.

* * *

Minutes turned into hours, which blurred into days. She wasn't exactly sure how long she'd been strapped to the steel table. Nobody had come in since the man in black effortlessly pried through her consciousness for the information he was after.

Her body ached from fatigue, hunger, and her mouth was as dry as cotton. She was desperate for water, to go relieve herself but she just had to push through until she was able to. That is if the man from earlier decided to show mercy on her. But she knew she was being too optimistic for her own good.

Her eyes steadied its focus on the ground beneath her, and she tried to keep her mind preoccupied on a particular spot to avoid being constantly reminded of her pain. Then the entry door whooshed open, and all her senses perked up.

She lifted her head slowly and met the gaze of the man in black. "Your presence has been a nuisance from the get go. It is even troublesome to continue having you in this room, where you'll just take up space." The last word is emphasized with much spite in his voice. "I have business to attend to that involves this room. I have gotten everything I need out of you, therefore, you are useless to me now."

_"Oh shit."_

She knew that it was her death sentence, and she was to die right there. Despite all her failed attempts to break free, she struggled again against the restraints. But she couldn't help but well up with tears as she imagined her final moments on First Order territory, where this asshole would surely prolong the pain.

He took a few steps towards her, and she found herself unable to hold in the whimpering anymore. His hands moved towards his mask, and he pulled it off in one swipe. He slammed it down on a nearby table.

She stopped struggling almost instantly.

Locks of jet black hair fell free from his mask. It framed his face, and barely grazed his broad shoulders. His milky white skin decorated with moles.

The man was...quite young.

But not inexperienced. She could tell by the look in his eyes. They were almost all black and she knew he had done this before. A man so young, handsome and seemingly desensitized to killing. It was terrifying, made her skin crawl, made her almost wish -

"I want you to be able to see the face that kills you." His voice is gravely, and she realized that the mask that disguised his voice wasn't too far off from how he actually sounded like.

 _"Oh no, he's hot."_ It was an impulsive thought she couldn't stop realizing.

His eyes narrowed slightly, and he cocked his head to the side almost as if he was confused by her internal comment. His eyes suddenly readjusted to drilling holes right through her skull, and his hand lifted up towards her. "You will remember the wrath of Kylo Ren." His fist started to clench, and she could feel the wind being knocked out of her as immense pressure began crushing her throat. She could hear the blood rushing through her ears.

She knew there was no escape from this, but she instinctively struggled against the choke, skin tugging painfully against the cuffs that held her down. She was fighting so damn hard to catch a breath, to fight against the unconsciousness that started to wash over her.

That was when she noticed him smirking sadistically as he watched her body twitch. His grip loosened just slightly, and she inhaled a sharp breath.

His smirk is gone within seconds, brows furrowed and he seemed confused. His hand reached forward to snatch the head wrap off, her hair undoing itself in the process.

Kylo Ren looked almost dumbfounded, his fingers ran through her hair. He tugged at it slightly, eliciting a hiss from her. He pulled away at the cloth she had covered the bottom half of her face with, which revealed her voice changer. He took it away from her, inspecting every detail of the device before he hauled across the room. "You're a woman." His eyes flickered down to her attire. "Or are you..?"

Before she could even question what he had meant, his hands ripped through her tunic revealing her undergarments. He ripped through them too.

"What are you doing?!" She screeched, trying to jerk away. She felt the cold air brushed against her bare body and her skin prickled at the feel. When she looked back up at him, she didn't see the same look in his eyes anymore. They were clouded, but not with anger - with something else.

Kylo Ren stood motionless, his eyes raked over her body multiple times, mouth slightly ajar. "All woman." He swallowed. "Perhaps you aren't useless after all." He turned around swiftly. "I suddenly decided not to kill you."

"You'll let me go?" She asked, hopeful.

He scoffed and turned back to face her with a mischievous grin. "You must be starving. I can feed you." He was a lot closer to her than he had been since the interrogation started. "I can keep you alive."

She grew more fidgety by every second, aware of his scrutiny as he studied every inch of her practically naked body. "My hospitality, however, is at a cost." His voice was low. "You will do what you must in order to please me as I see fit. Make use of yourself, and I'll keep you alive."

"Please." She pleaded in a breathless cry while tears rolled down her dirtied cheeks.

"What is it you're asking for?" Kylo Ren mumbled. He studied her for a few seconds in silence. It didn't take long until he was smirking. "I now know what it is you mean."

His gloved hands reached forward, gingerly grasping the swell of her breasts, thumbs flickered across the buds. He continued to tenderly caress them, taking one of them into his mouth. He closed his lips around the bud, sucking it slow at first. He experimented with different types of pressure, speeds, using his tongue more or less. His teeth sank barely around them, and she couldn't help but moan at the sting of pain and the wet feeling of his mouth.

"You like when it hurts." He stated in a murmur, drifting his lips across her chest to attend to the other breast. His hands released their hold and his leathered fingertips trailed down her abdominal, barely grazing her swollen clit. Her body jerked towards the sensation, and he chuckled at her physical reaction.

He made a note to not touch her right there just yet and allowed his hands to roam all over her body, grabbing everywhere. He felt the smoothness of her legs under his touch, traced over where her wetness had started trailing down her inner thighs.

"Please." She softly moaned, eyes shut as she tossed her head to the side. Her tears had long dried out. Suddenly, his hands were gone and her eyes slowly peeled open. She watched him tugged off one of his gloves using just his teeth, and he didn't take his eyes off of her during the process. She felt warmth spread through her cheeks from just watching him with such lust in his eyes.

Kylo Ren carelessly tossed the glove aside, taking his space directly in front of her. She shut her eyes tightly as he approached her. She felt his bare hand run through her hair, fingertips massaging her scalp as he made his way towards the crown of her head. He gripped it, achingly tight, and slammed her head back. "Open your eyes now." He demanded. She complied.

"Don't look away from me, understand?" He kept his hold tight, holding her in place as she caught her breath, the warmth from earlier spreading all throughout her body. "Yes." She panted.

"Good girl." He growled, hand slipping out of her sloppy hair. He slipped it between the heat of her legs, finger parting her as he searched for her ignored clit. He pressed against it, and she exhaled a ragged breath. He started to slowly massage it, only using one finger and watched her through his dark eyes as she reacted to the feeling.

It was achingly slow, teasing, drawing out her soft moans. She had her gaze locked onto him, who stared back. They were both breathing slowly out of their mouth in sync until he joined another finger between her legs. His other gloved hand raised the skin above her clit, which gave him more access to her. "Fuck." She sighed once he starts applying more pressure.

He got much more hasty with his movements, fingers worked at a much faster speed. She tried so hard to keep her voice down because she knew it would travel, especially when the rest of the ship was so quiet. He watched her through half lidded eyes as she squirmed around, her chest heaving with every breath she made to control the lewd noises that slipped out between her lips.

Kylo Ren kept one finger massaging her hard clit, the other snaked its way to her warm and inviting entrance. He barely slipped a finger into her and she tried desperately to buck her hips to feel him more. He let out a carnal growl when he felt her wetness. "You want to fuck yourself on my fingers so badly, don't you? Little whore." He groaned between clenched teeth. His finger returned to continue rubbing her clit. "Can you feel how wet you are from me speaking to you like this?"

She released a high strangled moan.

The pressure he was putting onto her clit was so much, she could feel the action driving her closer and closer over the edge. A distant, yet familiar heat began pooling within her stomach and she tried so damn hard to tilt her hips up for more contact. She needed to satisfy that desire that was building more and more by the second. She knew exactly what was going to happen, and she was afraid to unless he allowed her - would he?

Her focus was hazy, but still looking back into his eyes as he watched her get pushed almost over the edge. "I know you want everyone on the ship to know that you belong to me, that you're my property, my toy - my little whore. Filthy, so wet for a man whom you never met before but I could hear those vulgar thoughts about what you'd do to me once I removed my mask." He moaned as he was telling her all this, fingers moved frantically around her clit. "You are to cum for me, right now."

She could feel herself clench several times, finally, she was cumming. She nearly screamed profanities as her buckling legs gave out, waves of pleasure shot all throughout her body, to her toes and fingertips. Eyes rolled to the back of her head, and she lost sight of Kylo Ren who stared at her intensely. She heard him breathlessly encouraging her. "Yes, good girl. That's _right_." He was groaning at the sight of her orgasm.

Her breathing was shallow, and she was mentally reeling herself back into reality as her eyes stay closed. She felt the same fingers that made her climax slip into her pussy, pushed all the way in until it reached its brink. She whimpered.

He slid it out slowly, and she opened her eyes to see him staring down at his hand. Even she could see the reflectiveness of her cum coated all over his hand, and fingers especially. He turned around to gather his belongings and as he was walking to leave, she saw him taking those same fingers into his mouth, and tasted her.

He was sure to place his other glove on that same hand as he exited the room. "Move the prisoner to a permanent cell. Give her food, water and a spare change of clothes." He commanded to two Stormtroopers who were nearby.

She laid her head back, closed her eyes as she finally came down from her orgasm. Somewhere in the process, she blacked out.


	2. On Your Knees.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> back again w/chapter 2 (sorry it took a lil while). hope you all continue to enjoy this vulgarity cuz i’m sure as hell havin fun writing all the ways kylo ren can possibly debauchery a female heh. this chapter is twice as long as chapter 1, so yeah. also, please excuse any grammatical errors. i always try my best(est) to proofread but i’m human & things still slip past my eyes. enjoy you filthy people!!!

* * *

It seemed everyone was as astonished as she that she lucked out. 

“Oh please, don’t tell me he decided to spare her. What does he hope to achieve from keeping her around?” The familiar ginger haired man, named General Hux, flashed her a disgusted look when he found out that Kylo Ren had decided to keep her alive after all. He then ordered his troops to take her to go get cleared medically before she could be admitted on the ship as a permanent prisoner. 

Having to undergo various medical examinations was absolutely tiring. It was a devastating blow to her to have to endure the poking and prodding done by the medical workers, as she listened to their judgmental whispers about her diminished state and lack of clothing - _“It seemed as if he found a way to use her to his advantage”._

Needless to say, she was more than prepared to settle into her cell, clean herself off, change into her new clothes provided, eat and rest properly for the first time in what felt like centuries.

* * *

Her first real night sleeping on the Finalizer was far from pleasurable, especially being in her revealing outfit. It was a plain black sleeveless crop top, paired with an equally as plain black skirt. They were both a bit too snug for her liking. It hugged her curves without much room to move, and her skirt was much shorter than she was comfortable with, riding up well over her bottom. Needless to say, there wasn’t much left to anyone’s imagination - or Kylo Ren’s to be exact. 

Sleep was grueling to come by, with all the tossing and turning she had done. She eventually woke up, opened her eyes and saw two Stormtroopers stare down at her from inside her cell.

“Hey, get cleaned up and follow us.” They had immediately demanded. She noticed they were equipped with their standard blaster rifles and that it was within her best interest not to argue back, no matter how little of a morning person she was.

She did as instructed and then left her cell to be guided by the two troops. 

Down she went through the hallways that were identical to the next. Took a right here, left there, straight down, passed some corridors - it was mind-numbingly confusing to try to remember her way around in case she ever got the opportunity to haul ass. Not like that was ever going to happen. Wishful thinking.

The three eventually stopped at a door, which quickly opened to reveal a masked Kylo Ren who stood next to a conference table. The room was completely empty, and she had pieced it to be some sort of a debriefing room. “We’re here with the prisoner, sir.” One announced as he pushed her forward using the stock of his rifle. 

“Good. You’re dismissed.” Kylo Ren replied before he redirecting his attention back to her. She sheepishly entered the room, eyes landing on the tray of food and water that was laid out in front of her. The door closed behind her, and now it was just the two of them. “You must be hungry.” He said. “Eat.”  


She sat down at the table and began scarfing down her meal. She hadn’t realized how hungry she was until she saw food. He took his place at the far end of the table, observed her as she ate without a care in the world. Soon, his fist collided with the surface of the table, which nearly shook the entirety of it upon contact. She stopped eating immediately, eyes moving away from her food to meet him. 

“Eat as if you have manners.” He demanded. She knew he had been staring her down through his mask. 

She nodded feebly and paced herself to finish the rest of the meal, as well as drink the water. Seemed as if she was treading on thin ice with him and it had barely been five minutes. How the hell was she to last a lifetime with this man?

“Are you enjoying your stay so far?” He asked, and she couldn’t tell if the question was genuine. She didn’t answer and continued to eat to the same steady pace. 

“Quite the attitude you have.” He commented a few moments later.

She stopped to glare at Kylo Ren only for a moment. “That’s why I thought it, and didn’t say it.” She snapped back before she resumed eating.

When she finished, she was sure to clean her hands of properly, pushed the tray away from her and directed her attention to her lap. “Thank you for the meal, sir.” She paused, shifting in her seat as she tried to toy with her skirt. “And for keeping me alive.” 

She wasn’t sure if the second part of her gratitude was needed to verbalize, but she figured it was worth reminding him. There was an uneasy silence that followed her thanks, and she looked up to see what exactly her captor was doing. 

He sat there, hands folded and rested on the table in front of him as he just stared at her. “You can show your appreciation another way.” He finally stated, keeping his composure. 

“Could you take off your mask?!” It was an impulsive request, and she couldn’t take back what she asked once it reverberated around the room. The silence from earlier returned, but only briefly before Kylo Ren removed it, placing it to the side of him.

His hair fell into place, framing his long face as it rested on his shoulders. His facial expression was stoic, expressionless, much like it was when he first unmasked himself to her. 

Her nerves that had twisted itself into a coil loosen ever so slightly once she was able to see him for _him_. It was strange, and she couldn’t quite understand why she felt relieved to see his face. It didn’t change the fact that he was still as daunting and authoritative as ever. “Come here.” It was a simple command, and she found herself getting to her feet, awkwardly adjusted her outfit as she hesitantly walked over to Kylo Ren.

It felt like a year-long journey before she finally stood in front of him. He was still seated, gaze slid up her body slowly before he made eye contact with her. “On your knees.” His voice was low. She noticed how dark his eyes were, again with that familiar haze of lust. She heard his order, but she was frozen - unable to comply to his word. 

He pushed himself off of his chair, which looked more like a throne from how he sat on it. With a quick motion of his hand, she felt an unbearable amount of weight push her down until her knees painfully collided with the ground. She winced at the contact, knowing they were surely bruised. 

She didn’t focus on the aching of her joints once his gloved hand pulled her top over her breasts, which allowed them both to slip out. He took one into his palm and gave it a squeeze, her eyelids fluttered at the sensation of leather on her skin. Soon after, she heard the sound of cloth ruffled against one another. She opened her eyes to find Kylo Ren working at the crotch of his pants to withdraw his stiff cock.

It was the first time she had ever seen him like that, obviously aroused, and to see that part of him was almost unbelievable. She swallowed hard at the sight of his length.

“I figured you’d think something like that.” He chuckled darkly, the hand from earlier then ran through her hair soothingly. “I’ll give you two options to repay me for my kindness: either you do it for me, or I make you do it.” His offered in a murmur.

She would be lying to say she wasn’t intimidated by the sheer size of it. Still, she was unable to process a coherent answer, all that came out of her mouth were doubtful noises.

“Fine.” He huffed, frustrated at her lack of a proper response. The hand that had run through her hair gripped it painfully tight at the crown of her head and tilted her back just slightly. His other hand curled faintly and she felt a recognizable pressure squeeze at her neck, her mouth opened as a response. He slid his cock between her lips, pushed it in until it hit the back of her throat. 

He didn’t move, at first, adjusting himself and her to the foreign feeling. He kept his grip tight around her hair, and the other hand still at a standby as he held her throat still. She didn’t have much time to acquaint herself to either sensation by the time he began to thrust into her mouth. 

The pace started off slow, shallow, Kylo Ren barely snapped his hips but still drove his cock into the back of her mouth which earned gags every time he made a home there. It didn’t take long for him to grow accustomed to the wet feeling, to which he angled himself into a more comfortable position to fuck her mouth from. The grip he had on her was still tight, not unbearable but it kept her in place - unable to move away from the motion. 

She wasn’t use to such girth, wasn’t exactly sure if her jaw could stay opened for so long. She kept her hands sprawled out on the floor, braced herself for some stability as he continued to fuck her mouth. He seeped deeper into pleasure, pulled himself out completely only to rapidly drive it back into the sweetness of her mouth.

He roughly thrust his hips, not even caring about the lewd and sloppy noises that emitted as a result of his cock and her mouth intermingling together. Saliva began to collect at the base of his cock, which made for even more slick motions. She could taste the mixture of precum and spit on her tongue.

“Ah yes.” He hissed, as he watched the sight of his shaft slide in and out of her between her pursed lips. 

She pushed away from him in one motion, which freed her from his grasp on both her throat and her head. She urgently needed a break to catch her breath, as she choked and coughed when she was finally able to. There was a mess on the ground beneath her, saliva everywhere and she spat on it to give herself air to breathe. She wiped away the remainder with the back of her hand, gathering her composure before she spoke. “I have to breathe you know.” 

“Right.” He chuckled. “Almost forgot. You just were very good at taking my cock in your mouth I got distracted.” 

There was a muffled voice from outside that immediately caught their attention. Kylo Ren’s eyes focused on the only door to the room as if he anticipated it to open. He focused on it intently, before he looked down at her. She saw a look in his eyes that she knew as panic. “Under the table.” He told her in a hushed voice. “Now.”

She scurried until she was hidden underneath of it. Kylo Ren was seated back in his chair, and he fixed his unkempt appearance. 

The voice got closer to the room and within a few moments, the door had opened. “About time - any particular reason why this door was locked, Ren?” A man spoke. 

“Ever occur to you I wanted my privacy?” Kylo Ren responded with an irritated sigh. “What is it that you need, Hux?”

“It’s in regards to our next plan of attack.”

“Can’t this wait until later today??” The agitation in his voice was palpable. 

“Afraid not. You’ve had me running around looking for you like a madman. We’ve been putting this debriefing off for too long. The Supreme Leader would certainly not be pleased to know that you’ve been falling behind on your duties, Ren.” General Hux paused, eyes glanced down at the empty food tray. “Did you eat lunch in here?”

“Let's get this over with.” Kylo Ren snapped, disregarding his recent comment. 

Both men pulled themselves closer to the table, which trapped her in between the lengthy legs of both the table and Kylo Ren. The tip of his cock nudged at her face when he scooted in, and she saw he was still just as hard as he was before they were interrupted. She could hear the sound of something sliding across the table, which was a folder referred to contain information crucial to the First Order and this mission. 

She wasn’t positive what she was going to do with herself as the two had begun discussing schematics of sorts. Who knows how long it would take until she was able to free herself from hiding? 

Out of the blue, she was struck by a thought. It was quite risky, but then again - so was her being in the room in secrecy, with Kylo Ren’s cock still out. She wasn’t sure if she should act on impulse, seeing as the repercussions could be grave. But the thought gnawed at her, like an itch she couldn’t satisfy unless she tried. She figured she could deal with the punishment when the time itself came, so she went for it. 

She was weary not to make noise as she readjusted herself comfortably between Kylo Ren’s legs, hands reached forward as she gripped both around the base of his cock. It was hot, achingly hard. She could feel him shudder under her touch, which caused a warm sensation to spread throughout her body knowing he reacted positively, so far. She leaned forward, taking him carefully into her mouth. 

Kylo Ren shifted in his seat, trying to push his cock further down her throat, and she heard General Hux stop midst sentence. She could only assume he was distracted by the odd face his colleague was making and - _“just why the hell was he?”_

With professionalism, Hux continued his sentence and Kylo Ren finally was able to sit still after sinking into the yearned warm, wet feeling. The two carried one with the conservation, and she gave no mind to it as she worked both her hands from the base to the tip of Kylo Ren’s cock, mouth suction tight around it. Her tongue trailed the sides of it, pressed it between the slit of the tip. She heard him huff and felt him shift again in his seat. 

“...It is crucial we deploy extra infantry for this mission if we want to secure success, that is. So the important question I must ask is - are you going to come or not?”

“Am I...going to come?” Kylo Ren reiterated through clench teeth. She fasten the pace of her hands, slicked his cock with spit that made for a wetter slide. 

“Yes. It’s not as if we are helpless without you but, we could certainly use...an extra hand.” General Hux stated, and sounded as if it pained him to ask Kylo Ren for assistance. “So, are you going to come?” 

She could have sworn she heard him smirk. “Oh yes, I certainly am going to come.” Kylo Ren answered, smug. 

“Alright then. I’ll be sure to forward any additional dossier collected about this to you if anything new develops.” General Hux pushed away from the table, gathered his things, his boots clicked along the tile ground as he moved towards the door. Kylo Ren’s hips snapped, trying to bury himself deeper into her mouth which earned a gag from her. The clicking of boots abruptly stopped.

“You’re dismissed.” He reminded harshly. 

The footsteps resumed, and she caught an incoherent mumble from General Hux by the time was he finally out of the room.

The door finally slid to a close, and Kylo Ren wasted no time to scoot himself away from the table, dragging her out as well. She wasted no time to resume sucking him off, both hands still massaging his length. Her movements got sloppy, hasty and desperate to please, to make him feel even half as good as she did during their first encounter. It wasn’t something she wanted to admit, but she craved for more. 

Kylo Ren’s eyes never left the sight of her taking him completely into her mouth, working skillfully with her hands as her tongue licked at every inch of him. His mouth parted, rigid breaths slipped between his lips. Beads of sweat begun collecting at his hairline. She kept at the motion for quite a bit, humming in satisfaction as she felt him jerk his hips forward. 

A few moments passed and she felt him tug at her head, his cock withdrew out of her mouth with a quick pop. “Open.” He commanded in a growl. She complied, opening her mouth and within in instant, he came, shooting mostly into her mouth but still managed to dirty her face with his seed. 

“Swallow.” His voice was hoarse. She pulled her lip together, swallowed and tasted the remarkable tanginess of it. It left an unforgettable saltiness on her tongue, and an odd feeling grew within her. “Show me..that you swallowed.” His voice was low, almost in a whisper. She did as instructed, opened her mouth and stuck her tongue out as he looked, a hazy fog in his eyes. No doubt that the sight of her obeying his filthy commands turned him on more, if possible. 

“Such a good girl. Always so obedient.” Kylo Ren breathed, gloved fingers wiped off the leftover cum. “Clean it off.” She took his fingers slowly into her mouth, licking away until all that was left was was a sheen on his leathered fingertips. “On the table, face me.” He released the hold he had on her, still watching her. She scurried onto the table, as she anxiously waited for more instructions. 

“Good, good. Spread your legs, prop your feet up.” He hummed. She did as told and he allowed his gaze to ravish her body, which in the position she was in, exposed for only him to see and taste. He worked the gloves off within seconds, tossing them beside her, his large hands rested on her ankles, giving it a squeeze. Slowly, agonizingly slowly, he grazed her smooth, soft skin with his calloused touch, eyes following its lead until his hands were gripped comfortably around her thighs. 

“Excites you to please me, doesn’t it?” His voice was raspy, dark. She gaped at him, noticing that he had taken attention to her center. She didn’t give him the pleasure of answering his question and remained silent as she fidgeted under his study. “You’re already so wet, and I haven’t even touched you.” His lips pulled into a smirk. She can’t help but blush in embarrassment to the cold hard truth. 

“You don’t have to say anything, but I know. Your thoughts are loud.” His hands are quick to roll up the skirt until she was sitting bare bottom on the table, shivering at how cold it felt underneath her. Thumbs teased her lip before parting pass it until he found her clit, achingly swollen from just the anticipation of his touch. He rubbed at it, gently at first, looking up at her to see her reaction. She sighed at the contact, hands gripped at the end of the table. 

Kylo Ren coats his fingers with her wetness, barely dipped them in her entrance as he slicked up the friction between her clit and his fingers. He was attentive to only apply pressure there, and she flinched under the feel, pushing herself down onto his fingers for more. “Do you crave something other than just my touch?” His voice is raspy again, low. She whined, not giving him an answer but shamelessly rolled her hips to further the sensation that was rippling through her body.

The fingers he was using to rub her slipped down until he pushed into her wetness, earning a surprised gasp from her. He eased both fingers in, worked his way in with diligence until he hit the brink. He pulled out, then thrust back in. 

“Oh.” She was at a lost for words as she lapsed further into sin. 

He worked his fingers, thumb finding its way to rub at her clit as he did so. The pace soon faster, his fingers gleamed with her wetness, lewd noises echoing the room as he put more effort into his movements. Her arms were wobbling, and she found it nearly impossible to keep herself seated while he fucked her roughly with his long fingers. She was a moaning mess, chest heaving with every breath she took, only to exhale with noises that seemed to encourage Kylo Ren. 

“Such a...a good girl for getting so wet. So filthy, so destroyed.” He growled, cautiously slipping in a third finger. “Can you believe there are three of my fingers in you?” He stared below as he watched his fingers disappear in and out of her. “You’re stretched out around me so easily as if you’ve been waiting for some part of me to fill you up.” He curled his fingers to brush against the rough spot inside of her. 

“Oh god.” She replied, her legs quivering. 

“All sprawled out for me, you’re absolutely captivating.” He can’t stop with his words, and it’s evident that every interaction they have will leave them both hungry for each other. The last encounter left the two of them needing so much more, and she felt that familiar tingle pulled herself close to the edge. “I need more of you, crumbling under my touch. I can’t get enough, not after the first time. No, I need more.” His voice was raw - showing her that he needed her - her touch, her warmth, her wetness. He almost sounded broken, deprived if he was unable to feel her.

His moves become more frantic, determined to have her reach her wits end, to have her climax. He kept his fingers curled, brushed against the rough spot inside of her with every pump of his fingers, and she can feel herself clench greedily around him. “I’m gonna, oh -” It’s impossible for her to state the expected as she unravels almost rapidly underneath his hands.

“Do it, cum.” He reassured in a hoarse voice. 

When she does, she let out a moan that mixed with the grunts of Kylo Ren as she finally orgasmed. Her body quaked, and she - “Oh shit.” She cursed, cumming violently all over his fingers. It lasted for a few seconds, and he was mesmerized by the sight, continuing to finger her but brought the movement to a halt after the wave of pleasure finally washes over. His fingers are soaked, a bit of his outfit covered in her cum, and the only sound that reverberated around the large room was their gasps for air. 

Her body, all the way down to her toes and fingertips, felt a phantom tickle as she regained her composure and tried to make sense of all that just happened. “I-I’m sorry, that’s never ever happened.” Her cheeks were bright red at the realization that she had just finished all over her captor. She hadn’t intended on making a mess, and yet here Kylo Ren was, staring down at where she came on. 

“Don’t apologize.” He murmured, bringing his hand up to lick away at the mess. She averted her eyes at the sight, her arousal returning from seeing him taste her cum again. He pushed away from the table, and she took it as a cue to find her way back onto the ground, taking care of her untidied state. She readjusted her outfit so that it looked somewhat modest, and took notice to how Kylo Ren was patting away the wetness. “I’ll clean it since it’s the mess I made - “

“Don’t. It’s fine.” His tone is hard, and something tells her not to argue about the topic. She dropped it, nodding sheepishly in understanding as she stood patiently and waited for his order. “You’re dismissed.” He stated after he pulled his gloves back on and combed his fingers through his hair. 

She bowed slightly, walking towards the door which opened automatically and she was greeted by two Stormtroopers. Whether or not they were the same ones from earlier, or even heard any of what happened she didn’t care. Her head was a mess, buzzing loudly from the immediate replay of her moment spent with Kylo Ren. She knows it’s nothing more than just sexual, that her purpose here in the First Order's ship is to please the only person here who has a say to her survival. 

But still, she felt a bit of unease, not for the reasons she should be - and that bothered her the most. It’s how much she could feel herself spiraling in this whole ordeal, and she just wanted to submerge herself completely in this and not give a fuck what line she’ll cross by wanting him. She wants to drown, allow herself to be consumed by lust because damn does it feel like nothing she’s ever experienced. She isn’t sure what to make of anything and sensed herself losing path from what’s right and wrong. 

She glanced back quickly to just see him, for whatever reason, and he’s already got his helmet on and from what she can tell he’s looking back at her; the door then closed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have problems. ty for all the kudos/bookmarks/views/support this series have received! ur all so awesome & i can only hope u lil shits can have a kylo ren for your own desires one day :o) til next time! xoxo


	3. You Are Not Worthy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i’m rly shitty for not updating quicker but damn life gets in the way of doing so. un-beta’d as usual. anywho, enjoy this chapter & again, ty all for the support this series has received! u all rock.

* * *

The aftermath of her recent rendezvous with Kylo Ren left her uncertain, astounded. She was not sure what to make of it, or anything. But she knew for certain that she wanted to wash away the phantom feeling of his touch on her skin. 

She needed to shower. 

She slipped out of her clothing and submerged herself underneath the jets of warm water. She closed her eyes under the familiar feeling of warmth, finally able to clean herself free from sweat, grime, cum - her eyes snapped open and she mentally shook herself free from thinking anything that had to do with herself and _him_.

Kylo Ren was the reason she was in this cell and the reason why she harshly rubbed at her skin to try to remove any remnants of his touch, saliva, any trace of him off of her. She couldn’t bare to think of him for another second, or the way she felt - pleading for him to touch her more, satisfy an itch she couldn’t scratch without his help.

Her shower came to a halt, and she dried herself off before stepping out.

Her room was small but still spacious in comparison to the other prison cells she had the “luxury” of serving in. It was bland, but held the necessary items such as a bed (if you could call it that; it was literally a metal platform with a thin mattress on top of it), a toilet, a sink with an automated faucet, and a shower stall. This place was simply a palace compared to the shitholes she had been in before, including her home. 

She collapsed onto the bed, regretting as she quickly forgot it wasn’t comfortable by any means. She had to get use to the feeling of such a hard surface underneath her body, seeing as this was her home now. As an attempt to shut her mind up with the constant barrage of thoughts, she forced her eyes closed, easing herself slowly into sleep. 

* * *

The next few days hazed over, and she remained in her cell. Stormtroopers came by frequently to drop off her meals and that was the most contact she made with anyone for some time. It made her wonder, mull over the thoughts that filled her head when she noticed that not once had she been requested of by Kylo Ren since the last time. 

She was flustered, annoyed at herself for being concerned with such an issue. On the contrary, she should be relieved that she had the opportunity to be alone the past few days. She should be, but she was not quite sure why she doesn’t feel anything remotely close to it. 

Just what the fuck had he done to her?

She huffed, readying to beat herself up mentally over how fixated her mind was on her captor when the door opened, interrupting her thoughts. Her body perked up as a response, and in walked in - “Kylo Ren.” She whispered. He was sporting his usual attire. 

“Come with me.” He ordered, his mechanical voice sent a shiver through her. 

Well aware that he is not a man to be kept waiting, she was fast to get on her feet and shadow him as they both left her cell. A considerable amount of space was kept between the both of them, considering he strode with every step. 

“Don’t even think about running, unless you wish to make punishment harder on yourself.” He reminded. She let her thought linger on his warning, and wondered if he was referring to a physically grueling punishment or something else.

The rest of the trip was accompanied by silence, except for the sounds of their footsteps which carried throughout the identical hallways of the ship. The walk soon came to a halt as Kylo Ren stopped directly in front of a room that was at the end of some hallway. Quickly, he punched in whatever required codes open the door, and she was able to peek into notice it was some utility room. 

He stepped in and she followed. 

The door shut closed and made a sound that indicated it was locked. 

Kylo Ren turned to face her, removing his helmet off in the process. His hair fell into place and they’re awfully close to each other. She could count all the moles on his face from where she was and easily reach out to touch him, if she wanted to - if she dared.

“It has been quite awhile since I’ve last seen you, prisoner.” He mumbled, causing a vibrant blush to spread across her cheek because she immediately remembered how he managed to utterly ruin her. She kept her gaze away from him. 

“I’ve been caught up in many, _many_ business affairs. Nothing I can’t handle, considering I have a strong resolve when it comes to my duties but...” He stepped towards her, and she took one back, feeling her back hit the wall behind her. “You’ve been distracting me.” He said, one hand pulling her top over her breasts as the other slid up to grip her neck. His eyes dropped to her chest once they were exposed. 

“I can’t stop thinking about you cumming.” His grip tightened. “I can’t stop thinking about the way you taste.” 

She moaned submissively. 

He leaned forward, dangerously close to her mouth but dipped his head towards her jawline. Using his nose to nudge her face to a more accessible angle, he parted his mouth and grazed it over the edge. He continued the trail down her neck - “Mine.” He stated, sinking his teeth into the softness of her skin, which was sure to bruise. 

She could feel him sucking pressure around the spot, before releasing his hold on it, breath ghosting above the area. She wondered when the last time was that she was marked like this, and she feels her stomach twist to the thought, the enjoyment of being all his - his territory. 

His free hand squeezed firmly at her breast, fingers played with the bud until they hardened under his touch. He treated the other to the same pleasure, and sucked at both nipples, sloppily, his tongue swirling playfully around each bud. She hummed at the feeling. 

“I need to taste you on my lips. I need you now.” He said with urgency as he continued to mouth at her breasts. Slowly, he shifted his weight onto his knees, both gloved hands feeling the curve of her body as it ran down her waist, hiking her skirt up well over her ass. He pulled her body down until her legs were rested over his shoulders. 

Having an idea of what he was planning to do, she found herself growing ashamed with how much she craved to have him consume her. “What if someone hears??” She asked, breathlessly.

Kylo Ren glanced up, a smirk plastered on his face. “Keep your voice down then.” He tenderly tugged her folds apart and went face in. His tongue found her clit instantly, pressing up against it, flicking at it experimentally. She twitched under the contact, her hips snapped upward to feel more of his touch. 

He kept at his movement, gloved hands taking hold of her thighs as she attempted to meet his motions halfway with every roll of her hips. He lapped up at her clit, changing the speed, alternates between licking her up and sucking her hard. She couldn’t figure out what she preferred more and is unable to stop herself from thrusting her body into his face, not trying to break away from the feeling for even a second. 

When he dragged his tongue south, barely dipping into her wetness she feels all of her willpower crumble pitifully. She stopped her gyration, and instead tried to sink completely onto his tongue. Her eyes rolled back, head hitting the wall and her fingers are finding a home through Kylo Ren’s thick locks, pulling at the crown of his hair. It felt so smooth, soft and she wants to keep her hands threaded through his hair. 

He made a low grunt and one of his hands freed itself from gripping her thigh. There an intense motion that nearly ripped her hands (and hair) away from Kylo Ren and gets pinned beside her against the wall. She’s always loathed the feeling of being controlled and whined when her struggles against the invisible force are futile. “Please.” She pleaded. 

She can feel his laugh against her wetness. “Continue to beg all you like, but I’m not releasing you.” He buried his tongue into her, big nose pressing against her labia and he wastes no time to start thrusting in and out. He then curled it upward, barely grazed that familiar rough, sweet spot inside of her and she cried out, slamming herself into his face. 

She pants, riding his tongue and he’s practically vibrating underneath her with how much he’s humming in satisfaction. She can’t believe how fucking _good_ he is at going down on her, and for a brief second she wondered if he’s done this before with other women he’s captured? 

“You taste just as divine as you did the first time.” Kylo Ren stopped to tell her. He tugged off his glove using his teeth, eyes steadily watching her as she panted. The gloves get tossed, and his fingers slip between her to rub at her clit. “Tell me what it is that you want.” 

“I - I…” She’s overwhelmed, unable to process a coherent answer as he massaged her. He then used the same finger to move his way into her, and she moaned. 

“Tell me.” He demanded through gritted teeth. He’s watching her as she squirmed under his touch, and muttered - “Fuck me, please.” 

Suddenly, his finger is gone, the invisible grip around her wrists disappear and he slid out from underneath her. Her feet hit the ground and she felt the _**slam**_ of his hands, both landed on the side of her face. A perverted grin on his face. “You want me to fuck you, whore?” 

She’s speechless, at a loss for words at his shift in demeanor. Was it wrong for her to admit such a desire?

“You think you deserve my cock? For me to fuck you?” He sounded amused, and she feels like a joke. He leaned in, close enough for their noses to touch. She can hear her blood pumping through her own ears. 

“I am a Knight of Ren, destroyer of the Resistance; you are not worthy.” Within a blink of an eye, Kylo Ren flipped her body around so that she was facing the wall. He kneed her legs wide apart, large hand pressing against the flat of her back so that she was unable to move. “Don’t fret, I’ll find another way to fill you up.” 

She rested her forehead up against the wall in front, hands on both sides of her to brace herself for whatever he had in store. She can feel _something_ press up her rim. It’s a sort of pressure, not warm and comforting like she has come to know with cocks. It feels whole but lacks intimacy. It slowly pushed through, stretching her wide as it entered. Her hips arched back, searching for more contact. 

The thrusts start off slow, shallow but the movement is consistent. His hand still holding her down. She’s pants, whined at the way it brushed up against every nerve and ridge inside her. 

He takes it as encouragement, quickens the pace and it gets deeper. Every slam in coaxed a moan out of her, and she knew damn well she’s being a bit too vocal. She bit her lower lip, trying so much to suppress the noise. 

She’s managed to muffle herself just a bit, and she can hear her wetness slicking with every push and pull the unnamable force made. Kylo Ren is growling possessively behind her, and she can feel his nails dig into her back as he continued to hold her still. She can sense her legs on the brink of collapsing from out under her, trembling with every push. 

She can’t prop herself up against the wall. With her hands, she slowly lowered herself down until she was bent over. It hasn’t let up on the thrusts, and at that point they’re relentless, driving her mad with how deep it settles within her. 

Kylo Ren finally moved his hand away from her. “You enjoy being filled to the brink, stretched out for me.” His voice is hoarse, shaking. 

“Yes.” She replied through the gasp that slipped passed her lips. She moved her head away from the wall, painfully trying to crane it back to get a glimpse of him. 

Kylo Ren’s face was covered in a sheen of sweat, hair completely disheveled. His lips were parted, and he’s breathing heavily through his mouth. His eyes are completely engulfed in that recognizable darkness, fueled by lust and she noticed he’s _touching_ himself. His ungloved hand pumping at nearly the same speed as she’s being fucked, his other hand at a standstill to control the motions being pushed in and out of her. 

She grew more aroused at the sight of him getting off to everything that’s happening, her cheeks burning with redness and excitement. 

“So wet for me, broken - all for me.” He groaned, the hand controlling the movements tilted up and all the pressure distributed throughout her pussy is suddenly focused on her sweet spot. It sent sparks all over her quivering body, and it takes little to no time for that anticipation to start building

She doesn’t bother to move her head back to its original place, as she kept her half-lidded eyes on Kylo Ren, watching as he jacked himself off. He stared back, took in the way she’s shaking under him. The force kept at the strokes against her, earning an endless wave of cries. 

“I want you to cum for me again.” He pants in a low tone. 

She nodded, eager to please him and allowed herself to slip deep into this sin. It doesn’t take much for her to only concentrate on the pleasure of her spot being rubbed, her eyes closed as she focused solely on this moment. She’s teetering on the edge of her climax, her eyes looked back at Kylo Ren. “I’m going to cum, sir.” 

He leaned forward, pressed his mouth against her temple. His hand still fisting his cock, precum coating the entire shaft. She watched as his other hand clenched soon after, and she shuddered violently - finally cumming. She cried in ecstasy, her eyes rolled to the back of her head, legs nearly giving out had it not been for him catching her. He grunted, breath hot against her as she feels him shoot his load on the back of her thighs. She felt it trickle down. 

He doesn’t move away from her for a few seconds. They’re both trying to catch their breaths, reel themselves in from their orgasms. He pulled away from her. She drew her composure together, tugging her top over her breasts and heard him shuffling around behind her.

What she didn’t expect was the feel of his tongue dragging a wet trail against her thighs, licking up the cum. His hands gripped around her legs for stability as he licked away everything, leaving them coated with a streak of saliva. When he moved away from her, he also moved her skirt modestly back into place. 

They resume fixing their appearance. He wiped the sweat off of him, gathered his belongings, back on his glove and helmet goes and soon she’s face-to-face with a disguised Kylo Ren. He’s hitting a code into the room’s control panel to open the door, and the two diligently work their way around various items, careful not to disturb anything. She stumbled out into the hallway after him, still in a daze and somehow her legs were able to work on their own without her reminding herself “left right left right.”

The identical hallways dart by quickly, and she’s back at her familiar cell she calls home. He punched in at the control panel, and it opened for the two of them. She followed him in, staring blankly at him as he stood before her. 

He turned around, and she’s able to take in the sight of him towering in front of her wearing his ominous attire. His hand reached forward to her face, her eyes snapped shut in fear he would strike her. 

But he doesn’t.

His gloved hair gently brushed down her hair, and she flinched upon contact. She opened her eyes, gaped back at him during the gentle act. She can’t see his face, read his emotions because of his helmet and she _damned_ him from hiding himself away from her - away from everyone, she realized. 

He’s gone before she can muster out a pathetic “thank you”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thx for continuing to be patient w/me. ty all for reading!!!! see yah next time <3


	4. Admit It.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is everything you think it is & everything you think it’s not. enjoy!!!

* * *

The bruise on her neck emerged into a splotch, mixing of a deep blue and hint of a warm purple. 

It blossomed onto her skin, eventually decorated her body with evidence of her sporadic visits from Kylo Ren. Some would fade, lightening to a faint lilac color. Other times he would just add to the growing collection. 

She saw him, on and off, over the course of several days. It wasn’t consistent, and neither is his persona. She could never tell when he’d decide to treat her delicately - hands gently grazed over her body as if she would shatter under just the slightest bit of pressure. But his “concern” for her would never last; other days he would act animalistic, infuriated and the palpable anger he felt would be taken out on her. 

His teeth would scrape her skin, sink into it deep enough to draw blood at times. She’d ached for days and always wondered who the hell managed to piss him off that badly in the first place. 

Still, he wouldn’t fuck her. 

Kylo Ren was quite resourceful with other parts of him, and more times than not would utilize the mystical and powerful force. More so on the days when his aggression fueled his lustful sessions with her, leaving her marked (as if to show others that she belonged to him) and her head rang with him making it known to her that she wasn’t worth someone of his stature. 

The dynamic had shifted significantly between the two of them.

She was anxious to cross the boundary into an undiscovered territory and experience him at his most intimate. But she was simply afraid of the repercussions. He was still a Knight of Ren, no matter how unstable his psyche was, and not a force to be reckoned with.

* * *

Since being in captivity, she didn’t dream much (she knew she did every night, but can’t recall them for whatever reasons). That particular night, however, she does. 

She remembered her home, as shabby as it was she still felt solace thinking about it. She remembered her roguish lifestyle, how inconsistent it was for her to make credits off of jobs. She remembered some days she struggled to afford a meal, and often times than not resorted to thievery to feed herself. 

Then she was struck by the thought of Kylo Ren, with his helmet on, without it. His face, in particular, deprived of all emotions except rage. She could see his pale complexion accented with moles, his face taut with how he was frowning.

Then everything altered.

She recognized her feeling with the change of scenery: pure arousal. 

It was hard to decipher but she can see him, pleasuring her in the methods he has and she moaned, stirring herself awake. 

Her cell lights gleamed, illuminating the entire room in all its bland glory. She shifted slightly; hadn’t she turned those lights off before falling asleep? 

Sensation sparked between her legs, causing them to twitch. A familiar pressure applied against her clit, redirecting her attention to what triggered the feel. It took a few moments for her vision to adjust to the harsh lighting, but the black mass between her was Kylo Ren. His helmet and gloves were sprawled carelessly on the floor beside them. 

He licked at her clit, thick fingers simultaneously worked its way in and out of her. She was wet, slicked with her own juices. “Oh.” She breathed.  
She caught his attention, his eyes averted upward. “Didn’t mean to startle you.” He assured, his fingers continued its motions. “I was unable to sleep soundly, and just found myself..wandering over here.” 

Kylo Ren has never been one to explain himself, so why _now _? He’s the type of man to take whatever it is that he wants, and has been that way since the moment he laid eyes on her.__

__She wasn’t sure how long she had been sidetracked with her thoughts and found him staring back at her, intently. “You want me to stay after I finish.” He remarked._ _

__“Stop doing that.” She replied sharply. She absolutely hated the way he would waltz into her mind, plucking away at her thoughts as if they were weeds - which they may as well been with how persistent and unwanted they sprouted about._ _

__The weeds in her mind being the crave for companionship, intimacy - but being in a cell, alone, for who the fuck knows how long does some twisted shit to your head. Too many gray areas overlapped the subject matters._ _

__Kylo Ren’s fast to resume pleasing her, which distracted her from the bombardment of unwanted thoughts._ _

__He doesn’t rush the process and instead took his time tracing the ridges of her labia with his tongue, flicking the tip of it against her clit periodically. His fingers hadn’t left her wetness, still pushing and pulling inside of her with ease._ _

__He sucked at her, fingers curled to search for that spot within her that he was seemingly addicted to feeling. She sighed, humming with praise as he drove her closer and closer over the edge of her climax. It didn’t take long until she came, her legs shuddered, entrapping him between them as she contracted._ _

__She was exhausted yet satisfied, lying there nearly dozing off while he licked her clean, being attentive to where her wetness might have spread. He pushed himself off the bed slightly as he wiped his mouth with the back of his bare hand. She could still feel the residual tingling at the tips of her fingertips, all the way down to her toes._ _

__He’s observing her in silence, and she gazed back drowsily, cheeks tinged with red._ _

__She doesn’t hold the contact for much longer and pressed away from him with shaky limbs. Kylo Ren stayed put, held his ground as his brows knitted together - in confusion? At what? His hand reached forward to grab onto her. “You’re volatile.”_ _

__“Excuse me?” She sputtered. “You’re doing it again, stop it.”_ _

__“On the contrary, I’m not.” His grip on her arm firm. “Have I not pleased you enough? Why are you so angry towards me?”_ _

__She was baffled by how someone could be so ignorant to ask such a question. “Are you serious? Why am I angry at you?!” She quoted, eyes blown wide open. The matter triggered a sequence of vivid memories; her discovery abroad the First Order’s cargo, the interrogation that stretched for days, Kylo Ren claiming that she now belonged to him._ _

__One swift shove away from him and she freed herself from his hold, leaving a considerable amount of distance between them. Her breathing was labored resulted from her distraught state._ _

__His eyes soften, jaw visibly clenched. She was more than certain he saw everything within her consciousness and prayed that it would put a definitive end to his questions._ _

__“You know exactly what this is, how this “ She gestured her hand between them. “came to be. So - (“ _Stop pretending to care about me._ ”) thank you for making me cum.” She pushed her unsought thought away entirely, hoping that was the end of that. _ _

__But the expression that washed over his face was far from compliance. “Make up your wretched mind.”_ _

__Sure enough, that wasn’t the reaction or comment she expected from him. She gawked back, stupidly and exasperated._ _

__“You are insufferable and contradicting. I absolutely despise that about you.” Kylo Ren leaned in, nearly hovered over her in a predatory manner. “One instant you’re livid, damning me to Hell. The next you’re eager to satisfy me, begging me to have my way with you. Accept the fact that your perverse mind is enjoying this all too much, that you love being my whore.”_ _

__She shoved at him with considerable force to put distance back between them. She swore she could see red. “Fuck you.”_ _

__“Admit it.” He hissed, challenging her as he invaded her personal space again._ _

___People who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones._ _ _

__“You’re an absolute basket case!” She can’t stop the words that rush out of her like water flowing past a broken dam. How dare he, out of all people, try to patronize her? “You parade around here, nose in the air, so quick to prove to everyone that you’re a capable leader. But who are you fooling? You’re afraid of disappointing others, being vulnerable both physically and emotionally. I know this because I’ve spent the most time with you than anyone on this godforsaken ship. You think you got me all figured out, but you fail to realize the truth about yourself, Kylo Ren. You’re afraid of intimacy, afraid of wanting to get close to me; you’re weak.”_ _

__“Enough!” He bellowed, his hand stretch forth as force immediately repelled her back. She slammed against the wall behind her, landing on her knees, winded. Her body twinged, knees surely injured from how hard of an impact her fall was._ _

__There, Kylo Ren stood before her, hand gestured out to the side to retrieve what she recognized as a lightsaber, or more so the hilt of it. She had heard rumors of those valiant enough to wield them, but never seen one until now - and never seen one unsheathed until he ignited it._ _

__It glowed a ruby red, vocalizing a hypnotic noise. “How dare you speak to me as if I am below you. Have you forgotten who I am?” He threatened through gritted teeth, face cast by the red hue._ _

__In that moment, she realized she had._ _

__Within an instant, she remembered what it was like to have the displeasure of meeting him; how intense her fear of him was, and how she was truthfully afraid for her life. Somewhere along the line, she had managed to overlook his initial demeanor and was able to tolerate him, be next to him, writhing underneath of him without even the slightest entertaining thought that he could end her existence with a blink of an eye._ _

__But now, that was all she could think of._ _

__Kylo Ren raised his lightsaber overhead, and she quaked with her arms shielding her face, eyes tightly shut._ _

__He released a strangled roar, violently striking down on everything but _her_. The sound of his lightsaber colliding with her surroundings intermingled with the monstrous noises he released with every hit. It bounced around the cell, ringing in her ears and she felt herself trembling throughout this entire - episode? _ _

__Finally, all that echoed around her was the sound of him breathing heavily, and he sheathed his lightsaber. She could hear the electrical humming of destroyed equipment and saw the destruction he caused with her own eyes. There was barely anything left of her room, all slashed to nothingness, scorched black with hints of amber. She could feel the sparks of all the ruins warm her body before it all diminished away._ _

__He stood faced away from her, his body heaved with every breath._ _

__After a few moments passed, and he made no effort to turn around to face her. She mustered enough courage together to move toward him, hand hesitant to reach out to him. He flinched under her touch, moving to look at her._ _

__His face was unreadable, resembling something she could only guess to be self-realization and defeat._ _

__She lowered her hand further down his arm until she grasped the hand that held tightly onto his lightsaber, her thumb running soothingly over his wrist. Kylo Ren stared back, his hold on his weapon releasing; it made a thud as it hit the ground. “Why aren’t you angry at me anymore?” He asked in a mumble._ _

__Her gaze finally dropped, feebly shrugging. “You could have killed me at any time. I know you have it in you to do it, but you haven’t tried to.” She paused. “This whole situation is fucked up, and so are the both of us. Maybe that’s why I get you, probably more than you realize. I know you didn’t mean to.” She watched as his face soften. “I don’t know, maybe it’s just Stockholm Syndrome talking.” She joked._ _

__He remained silent for some time, looking concentrated with thought. She felt her head move upward as he took her face into his large hands. He held her in place as he pressed his lips against hers._ _

__She stayed motionless, unable to process what had happened. Is it possible that she had blacked out earlier and wasn’t even awake? Or maybe the lack of oxygen to her brain was causing her to hallucinate?_ _

__Her mind ceased the rambling once he pulled away, his gaze filled with more tenderness than she had ever recognized. She realized this moment was real, understood that this had just made things messier, more fucked up than she was capable of handling. But she realized that she hasn’t ever played by the rules, or had a conventional life._ _

__She was prompt to close the distance between them._ _

__It started off slow; the kisses reluctant on both ends as the two tested the waters, emerging themselves into uncharted territory. His lips were soft, which took her by surprise considering he was so rough around the edges. She barely sank her teeth into his bottom lip, attaining a groan from him._ _

__The kisses were done more eagerly as he kept his hands cupped around her face. They both stumbled back until the back of her knees hit the metal frame of her bed, which caused them to stumble onto it; neither one of them breaking away from the kisses._ _

__They’ve both felt each other’s skin before in almost everywhere possible, but this was so distinctively different than anything she’s ever experienced with him - she can’t quite put a finger on it. Perhaps this was all too surreal for her to believe, that he would allow himself to succumb to whatever this was. Intimacy?_ _

__She was drunk off of everything, couldn’t breathe but can’t bring herself to stop kissing him and wants so badly to suffocate in this._ _

__She parted her lips, allowing his tongue to slide into press against hers as she threw her arms around his neck._ _

__Kylo Ren shuffled out of his clothes, pulling away briefly to draw his robe overhead. She watched as his shoulders flexed, lats expanding as he worked his clothing off of him. Her eyes rake over his upper body, taking in all the details such as the sparse chest hair that sprouted between his pecs, moles that speckled all over. He was defined under all those layers, and she felt utterly spellbind._ _

__He leaned towards her, working her top over her head. He brushed his lips up her sternum, between the swell of her breasts before taking each nipple into his mouth, tongue swirled around each bud. In one swift tug, her skirt came off and he positioned himself between her legs. He trailed kisses on her thighs. “You’re wet again.”_ _

__She squirmed under what almost felt like scrutiny, her cheeks flushed red. “It’s not like I’m the only one who's turned on.” She wiggled her body down, foot grazed across his erect cock. He groaned from the contact, his fingernails digging into the flesh of her thighs. He moved out from between her legs, bringing himself face-to-face with her, their noses barely touching._ _

__“What is it that you want? That you crave?” It was a simple question, but she couldn’t bring herself to answer immediately. Her honesty, up to date, hadn’t earned the most desired response from her captor, making her unsure as to whether or not she should even bother answering._ _

__“Don’t be afraid.” He said._ _

__“You don’t be afraid.” She responded, obviously flustered._ _

__“What would I be afraid of?” He appeared perplexed._ _

__“Afraid of wanting...this. Maybe as much as I do, or more. I don’t know, I can’t do that mind reading thing.” She shrugged._ _

__Kylo Ren’s face pulled into an expression resembling a smile, a brief laugh followed. “I want to hear you say it. So tell me, what is it that you want?”_ _

__She chewed at her bottom lip, steadying herself mentally before she looked him square in the eyes. Her fingers brushed against the back of his neck. “Fuck me, please.”_ _

__His eyes were quickly devoured by darkness (she swore she could instantly see the shift in his mannerisms) and he leaned forward to take her lips with his. One of his hand snaked through her hair, the other cupped her ass and lifted her up. The tip of his cock lined up against her wetness, and she can feel the heat of it radiating all throughout her entrance, impatient for his next move._ _

__He remained still, eyes staring back as he pushed through her tightness. His grunt tore through the silence once he was comfortably seated inside her wet as sin pussy._ _

__She could feel the fullness, the girth of him stretching her wide, rubbing against her every ridge, bump, nerve ending inside of her. “Oh fuck.” She moaned._ _

__They’re breathing each other in, both in a daze from how the other feels. Kylo Ren’s large hands removed themselves from her hair to the sides of her head, anchoring himself above her. The tip of his nose bumped against her from one initial and fluid thrust of his hips._ _

__The force starts off slow and shallow while he eased himself effortlessly in and out of her. The sounds of their breaths blended together, flooding the room. It takes a little time before the pace gradually picks up momentum, earning a cry from her with each and every snap of his hips._ _

__“You’re so warm and tight.” He exhaled, eyes half lidded. Her body trembled upon hearing his comment. “Could have had this so much earlier.” She breathed out in a cry, hands clawing at the tense muscles of his long back._ _

__“Yes, I know. How foolish of me to not have taken you so much sooner.” He growled, movements becoming erratic, desperate for more contact but still tender in comparison to how he could use his brute strength._ _

__“Make up for lost times then.” She encouraged with a perverse smile._ _

__Kylo Ren began to chant obscenities, all revolving around the way she felt wrapped around him, how much he was been yearning for _this_. She can feel a pressure massage at her sensitive and swollen clit, and when she glanced beside her she saw that both of his hands were still rested beside her. _ _

__“Oh.” She pants, her hands moved to shakily cup his face, hopelessly needing to hold onto him for dear life. The simultaneous sensation and pleasure from her clit and the movements within her were driving her insane, nearly over the brink of her not-so-forgotten climax._ _

__Beads of sweat formed around his temples, dripping onto her exposed breasts which bounced with every thrust into her. Their body glistened with a mixture of sweat and saliva. She could feel the warmness of their breaths collecting between them. By this point, the force against her clit matched up to the sheer intensity of how he was fucking her. She knows - “I’m not gonna last.”_ _

__“Don’t. I want to feel you cum while gripped so tightly around me.” He managed out through gritted teeth. She nodded in agreement, feeling herself rapidly unravel like frayed rope, and he was easily pulling the pieces apart._ _

__“Oh fuck.” She swore as she finally came, pleasure crashing over her as she clenched greedily around his hard cock. He wasn’t too far behind and finished shortly after her. He grunted as he emptied himself into her warmth. She could feel every pulse of him releasing his seed, and she coaxed him through until his pace slowed down and then came to a halt. He was cautious when he withdrew and then settled beside her._ _

__They remained next to each other, catching their breaths, reeling themselves in._ _

__She could feel the cum trickling out of her, her stomach flopped at the sensation, her face visibly dissatisfied._ _

__“You’ll be fine. I was sterilized years ago.” He stated, his eyes closed._ _

__“Oh.” She replied feebly, realizing that wasn’t necessarily what was concerning her. Reality rapidly settled in after the post-orgasm fog dissipated, and this situation was officially more fucked up than fathomable. How could she let it get to this? What had they done?_ _

__She lied motionless, forcing her eyes focus on the flickering ceiling lights, instead of what he was doing as he lied next to her, or how he looked (or how he was possibly looking at her). Her cell room eerily lingered with the mechanical humming from the destroyed equipment around her and - shit, had they just had sex for the first time after what she pieced together was him throwing a violent tantrum?_ _

__She swallowed the growing lump in her throat, wishing painfully she had never made the feeble effort to reach out to him both physically and emotionally. Why couldn’t she had left the rigid walls that separated them up, unbothered, ignored? She knew she was more than knees deep in the depth of what she felt for him and it was absolutely useless for her to try to stop feeling what she did for this man. Nothing about this would work out, nor was it healthy even in the slightest._ _

__“Are we going to talk about this?” She asked in a choked whisper. Her eyes were watering and she damned herself for feeling so weak to this entirety. She glanced over at Kylo Ren to find him sound asleep, facing her. His chest barely moved with every shallow breath he made during his slumber._ _

__She blinked away the premature cries, focusing on the sight of him quietly dozed off and it was as if she was seeing him for the first time._ _

__He appeared absolutely foreign, so at peace. His once powerful features that were always scrunched, displeased were relaxed and gentle. The sight didn’t help the intense discomfort that gnawed away at her, but she found herself unable to combat it. She carefully readjusted herself to face him, her fingers pushed away his fallen locks of hair, tracing the length of his nose, the fullness of his lips. She kissed him lightly, afraid to stir him awake and soon succumbed to her overall exhaustion._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i want to apologize a million & one times for not posting this ch up any earlier than i did. quite frankly it was INCREDIBLY difficult to write (maybe bc it was less smut & more feelsy shit hahaha idk) but i’m hoping the wait was worth it? pls continue to be patient w/me as i start the next (& prob final :/) ch. you guys are all so awesome & i appreciate all the support & love. til next time <3


	5. I’m Conflicted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pls don’t h8 me for taking 5ever to finish this series. i didn’t forget. i’ve been busy w/life & constantly being exhausted so i apologize 3878379782943 times! ty all for being so patient! :3

* * *

She fell asleep effortlessly and slept soundly throughout the entire night. She was fully aware of how comfortable sleeping in a prison cell felt to her, and why; she decided to ignore the latter of her realization. 

When she finally awoke, the first thing she instantly noticed was that Kylo Ren was gone. Her hand ran over the subtle dip in the thin mattress, the area felt cold to the touch. He must have been gone for awhile now, and she wondered briefly if he looked at her with any sort of fondness before he departed. 

The second thing she also noticed was the disarray her room was in, or what was left of it. 

It didn’t take long until she was relocated to a new larger cell. It was a vast improvement to all the previous utilities compared to her last room.

She decided to start her day off like normal (or as conventional as she could, being a First Order prisoner). She cleaned herself off in her luxurious shower stall, relieved herself, lounged around impatiently on her bed. 

Except she couldn’t lounge, or relax, or calm her internal dialogue down enough to just _breathe_. 

She frantically paced her room, her nerves worn down to the core because this wasn’t a normal day being a prisoner. This was the day after. What was she to do?

The cell door opened, and footsteps followed. Kylo Ren walked in, and she felt oddly alleviated, yet on edge.  
“I see you’ve acquainted yourself to your new cell.” He was covered from head-to-toe in his typical grim reaper like attire. 

“Yeah.” She replied in an anxious tone. “Thanks for..” Suddenly, all her thoughts met her head on like a hovertrain - yesterday happened. 

Kylo Ren nearly ruined her room, taking her life in the process. Everything that followed, the unspeakable (and nearly unbelievable) events really did happen. This was evidence of that, proving herself wrong that this wasn’t a dream. She really didn’t go off the deep end - he did.

Here he was, standing in front of her, greeting her as if she was some revered guest.

“Are we going to talk about this?” She asked meekly. 

“About what? Us?”

She scoffed, wondering if he was trying to play off what happened yesterday or if he was truly that clueless. “Yeah, what else?” 

“There’s nothing to talk about.” His mechanical response was curt, leaving her dumbfounded. 

She could feel the muscles in her face tighten, jaw clenched with frustration. She was weary to continue at it with more questions, remembering vividly how “well” that went yesterday. 

“Alright. You’re here, so we gonna do it or not?” She stared back at him earnestly, brows furrowed.

He stood motionlessly, silently, in front of her, and she grew livid with each soundless second. She didn’t let up on her gaze, eyes bore through the dull glare of his helmet. 

( _“Get out.”_ )

His stance faltered in a way that would go almost unnoticed to the naked eye. “I’ll see to it that all your meals get delivered to you today.” He exited promptly, and she doesn’t say another word. The cell door closed leaving her by her lonesome, and she experienced a pang of regret and disappointment.

* * *

Kylo Ren is true to his promise and has several of his subordinates drop off her meals. Soon, it became daily. Days pass by in a blink of an eye since she has last seen or heard from him. It occurred to her, over the newfound free time she had, that the bantha in the room had yet to be addressed properly. 

During a random day where her door opened and (surprise, not Kylo Ren) in came a generic looking Stormtrooper to drop off her square meal of the day, she briskly stopped him. “Hey, wait!” He was almost halfway out when she called him. 

“Where’s Kylo Ren?” She questioned, realizing how absolutely pathetic and needy she sounded once she heard it bounce around her spacious room. 

“Sir Ren is currently occupied with official First Order business. I’ve been assigned to deliver the rest of your meals until further notice.”

“How much longer?” 

“Not sure.” The Stormtrooper shrugged lazily. “Sorry.” The door closed. 

Her gaze moved to the tray of food placed beside the entrance of her room, but it ironically makes her nauseous, her appetite vanished within an instant. It was uncertain when she’d see him again, leaving her to wait on him until he showed up so that she could - confront him, give him a piece of her mind? 

She can feel her skin grow hot as fury shattered through her typical demeanor. It consumed her like a wildfire as she quickly launched the tray across the room, watching it as it _**splattered**_ against the nearest wall, the sludge slowly rolling onto the floor. 

Damn him. 

Why the hell did he think he was entitled to abandon her, leaving her with unwanted questions about everything that happened to them? What possessed her to even think that they could come to some sort of understanding, where they could drop the facade of what this entirety was supposed to be, for what they both wanted it to be? 

Ultimately, she blamed herself for being too careless and getting caught by the First Order in the first place. She blamed herself for being vulnerable enough to wishful thinking, for fooling herself into expecting a change of heart from Kylo Ren. She was going to rot and die in her cell before she would ever see him again.

She would claw her way out of this hell even if it meant dying - because she knew, at least, going out that way meant she hadn’t given up without a fight.

* * *

The same Stormtrooper made his daily stops like clockwork to deliver her meals to which she strongly declined, only to accept water. “You can tell Kylo Ren to stop sending me food because I’m not going to eat it.”

Apparently, the Stormtrooper had a difficult time comprehending what she meant because he resumed his trip to her cell, dropping off meal after meal which quickly made an impressive collection of untouched food.

The food dries up impressively fast (including the one she decorated her wall with), creating a displeasing odor that engulfed her room. She’s managed to adapt to the smell, continuing on with her daily activities. 

It was another nameless and numberless day being a prisoner and starving herself when her shower got interrupted by yet another scheduled meal drop off. “Look, you’re wasting your time. I’m not going to eat any of this food.” Her eyes are closed tightly as she finished washing her hair. 

“That’s why I’m here.” A mechanical voice replied.

In a split second her eyes opened and she found Kylo Ren slowly observing her room, eyes lingered on the filthy state of it. She wasted no time to finish showering and dried herself off. 

“These conditions are unlivable. Why are you doing all of this?” His voice was visibly upset. 

“You’ve been avoiding me on purpose.” She shot back impulsively. The answer certainly struck a nerve with him, rendering him silent. “If you want to keep avoiding the obvious, then I’ll be damn sure to take it upon myself - “ Her stance wavered briefly, a heavy cloud settling over her as she lost her balance. She’s unable to stop herself from falling over but caught a glimpse of Kylo Ren rushing towards her. Then everything goes to black.

* * *

It took her a few moments to readjust to her foreign surroundings when she finally awoke. Her hands gripped on a smooth silky material, she realized quickly was a rather large bed, and not hers. She pulled herself up, sprawled on it to find a large mass sitting on the edge of it. 

Kylo Ren still dressed in his black outfit, helmet on as he glanced back. “You’re awake.”

She lazily rubbed her hands over her eyes, mind still rearranging the pieces together on what she had missed while unconscious. “What happened?” 

“Your blood sugar levels were quite low. Your hunger strike was not without consequences.” There was no mistaking his irritability with her, and the anxiety she must have caused him when she collapsed. She avoided eye contact with him, allowing her attention to take in everything that was around her. 

The interior was commodious, sleek, tidy and organized with a table and chair in one corner, and a control panel (which probably operated the lighting and the security system in this room) near the exit. Everything was black, and the room looked quite bleak overall except for the large window panel that exposed the continuous darkness of space. This was undoubtedly Kylo Ren’s room. 

“Why did you move me?”

“I needed to bring you to the medical ward. Also, I couldn’t stand how incredibly vile your room is. I didn’t want to stay there any longer than necessary.” His words were still tense with vexation.

“Oh well, thanks for doing all that.” She forced her attention down to her lap, hands idly messed with the hem of her skirt.  
He made a noise of reassurance, fixing his gaze ahead of him. 

There’s an unsettling silence that fills in the area around them, the faint hum of air conditioning mixing with the background. 

There was no proper time for her to talk about what she needed to address, but figured now was the only time to so she could break this stiffness. She can’t continue to put this off any longer, and now that she’s alone with him - 

“I’m glad you’re alright.” 

She can feel the wind knocked right out of her; that was not something she was prepared to hear. She hesitantly put her feelings of unease on the back burner and scuttled to sit beside him. 

“I..hope you are not still upset with me.” He doesn’t look at her. 

She stared out of the window, observing the stars as the Finalizer drifted pass leisurely. “Upset?”

“Prior to when you fainted, you were angry at me. I understand why you felt I was avoiding you.” Kylo Ren’s leather gloves crunched as he curled his hands. “I suppose I was doing that, although not intentionally. It’s just..”

She looked at him. “Take it off, please.” 

He dropped his gaze to his gloved hands, uncurling his hold on his tunic. 

“C’mon, it’s just me.” She insisted softly.

It takes him a couple moments until he complied. The mechanics in his helmets unlocked, his hands pulled it off in one motion before setting it down. Her eyes grazed over his familiar and handsome features as he looked ahead. His profile was very sharp, distinct due to his large nose. His eyes looked awfully drained, dark shadows cast obviously under them in what she assumed to be due to lack of sleep. “‘It’s just’ what?” She asked.

His Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed. “I’m conflicted.”

( _“About what?”_ )

“My duties as a leader of the First Order, as a Knight of Ren. It calls for my undivided attention, total dedication to destroying those who oppose our reign, making an example to treacherous people similar to yourself. Except I’ve grown to understand that you’re not…” He paused, face contorting with thought. “You’re not who I thought you were, and I’m not who I thought I was. What I feel about you - “ 

Her hands turned his face to hers, hastily pressing her lips to his. “Stop.” She mumbled against his mouth.

“What?” He asked, nearly breathless. 

“Stop talking.”

His brows scrunched together as he frowned. “I thought - “

“Y’know for a mind reader, you’re not doing so well on figuring out what I’m thinking.” She chuckled lightly, her arms wrapped comfortably around his neck, fingers playing with the ends of his hair. 

Kylo Ren remained seated, his hands beside him as he looked back at her. She repositioned herself closer to him, leaning into him to kiss him again. It was brief, not done with as much urgency as the initial one. His hands moved on to her thighs, giving them a squeeze. They kiss slowly, his hand sliding up her skirt and gently pried her legs apart. She moaned into his mouth, her stomach pooling with excitement and anticipation. 

She climbed onto him, her legs rested on both sides of him as she grinded down onto his hard bulge. His hands move towards her waist, then trailed down to her bottom, gloved hands slipping her skirt over her ass and grabbed at it. The clothes come off one article at a time. 

She was still straddling him when she pushed him back on the bed. Crawling to his erect cock, her eyes swept over his body, hungry and lusting for him. He observed her through lidded eyes as she wrapped a hand around the base of his cock, pumping it achingly slow. He released a rushed breath through his mouth. 

She stopped her hand in mid-motion, holding it still as she trailed her tongue alongside it, dragging it around the head and soon took it into her wet mouth. She tried to take it all in, had tried before in the past but to no avail. She gagged briefly around his impressive length, his fingers running soothingly through her hair, massaging her scalp. 

The pace started off drawn-out, hand following the motion of her mouth as she moved it up-and-down the shaft. His cock glistened with spit, making for a slicker suck and she hummed in satisfaction at the way it stretched her mouth. His hips snapped up in the slightest as he attempted to meet the back of her throat with every thrust down she made. He moaned.

Gradually, she grew more confident, already having a sense of familiarity with how to handle him, please him solely using her tongue, lips - the wetness of her mouth. The pace picked up, spit nearly dribbled everywhere as she allowed herself to get sloppy with the movements. 

Somewhere during this process, she felt her legs nudge apart. It’s not from his hands, seeing as they were still knotted through her hair. She wondered for a second what it could have been but then remembered quickly that Kylo Ren was no ordinary man. A pressure pushed against her exposed clit, another force teasing around the opening of her already wet and aroused entrance. 

She can feel pleasure nearly all over her body. All the stimuli are almost a bit too distracting for her, with his cock deep inside her mouth, pressure on both her clit and another slowly inching its way inside of her. She allowed it to continue massaging her, teasing her, and soon she was stretched out around the invisible force, but not in an unbearable way. In fact, it’s not as thick or wide as Kylo Ren has made it before.

She can’t make a comment about it once it started to ease in-and-out of her, making her nearly drip with wetness. She’s nearly drowning herself in this sin when he pulled her mouth off, causing a wet _pop_. “Unless you’re trying to get me to finish..” He grunted in a pleased sigh, one of his hands running through his disheveled hair. His eyes settled on her lips which were glistened with saliva, swollen and tinted a cherry red.

She wiped her mouth, climbed onto him and propped herself comfortably over him. One hand slipped down to hold his cock in place, the other one stabilized her as she lowered herself on his tip. She wasted no time fully sinking on it, eliciting a moan from being filled up with actual warmth and girth. He groaned through gritted teeth, hips pushed into her, searching urgently for more. 

He attempted to prop himself up on his elbows, but she was fast to lean forward, still seated on his dick and lowered him back to the bed with a shove at his chest. He appeared stunned, unexpecting her unspoken authority but didn’t resist. He swallowed, remained still as he watched her dangerously close. 

She shifted the weight of her body onto her feet, leaned herself back with both hands moving to rest on his long legs. With his entirety still deep inside her, she rolled her hips forward, feeling him brush against every ridge and bump inside her. It took a few attempts, experimenting with different angles until she’s got the movement just right, and is able to ride him fluidly. She swore she could see his eyes roll back. 

His mouth ajar as he pants, chest heaving with each passing breath. One hand clutched tightly around one of her ankles, the other hand moving to her heat, fingers pleasing her clit. Her body flinched impulsively under his touch, but she doesn’t allow it to deter her from riding him, even for a second. She slammed fully down into him with each thrust down, the sound of skin against skin filling the air. 

The consistent motion he makes on her clit doesn’t stop, and he changed up the direction periodically and the amount of pressure. “You always know how to make me feel so good.” He groaned. 

She couldn’t help but laugh as a response, her movements becoming more enthusiastic. Her body tingled intensely with sparks of arousal which set her skin ablaze. Her moves were rapid, fueled with the wanton desire to satisfy him, to break down his typically stoic persona and experience him at his most genuine, and fragile. 

Each move effortlessly coaxed moans from the two, her legs wobbling with every fluid thrust up-and-down his cock. The sensation he’s worked hard to build at her clit started to affect her, and she can feel her composure begin crumbling away. She knew that he’s aware of this but doesn’t stop. She has to move the weight of her onto her lower legs, and she leaned forward as she readjusted her position, their chests nearly touching. She doesn’t allow much time to pass before she’s fucking herself with his cock. She’s nearly crying with every motion made.

She tangled her fingers in his hair which is sticky with sweat. His hands snaked between the slickness of their body to grab ahold of her plump breasts. “Do you want more?” He breathed, squeezing them firmly. 

She can’t think of how to respond, and was at a total loss of words and thought for what he could possibly mean with how deep he’s inside her. His question doesn’t resonate inside her mind for too long as she feels something light brush up against the opening of her ass. It’s utterly unforeseen, and she’s never actually experimented with that area before so she doesn’t expect her first reaction to the touch to be for her to jerk back to the sensation. 

She hazily gazed ahead, watching as Kylo Ren’s lips pull into a devilish smirk. “Can’t get enough of me, can you?” The force doesn’t enter her, but instead teased her, tracing around the rim. 

“Neither can you.” She shot back with a broken cry. Her movements have begun to grow sluggish. 

“You’re right, I need more - I need to feel you more.” The invisible pressure used the wetness from her occupied entrance to slick the tightness of her ass. It finally entered her (with more ease than she expected), filling her up in a way that was devoid of warmth. It stretched her deliciously wide, touching against new and undiscovered nerve endings. He was cautious to work slowly within her.

The simultaneous sensations were driving her over the brink. She continued to fuck herself on his dick, ass moving back to meet the thrusts of the force. She couldn’t begin to explain to herself what about getting filled in both areas that felt so incredibly fulfilling. 

“So stretched out wide for me, both your pussy and ass.” Kylo Ren’s hands clutched her bottom, pulling them apart as his thrusts up into her began to overpower her moves. Her legs finally gave out, but she managed to hold herself up as he continued to please her, growling as he rapidly moved his hips. The force continued to work in her ass at nearly the same pace as her wetness. She can’t help but love the feeling of being abused, and felt an immediate shame and guilt for wanting more - if that was possible. Her eyes closed.

“Look at me.” He ordered, sending a chill down her spine. She was quick to comply, looking back at him. 

“Don’t be afraid of this.” He exhaled, still moving inside of her. 

She nodded while releasing a strangled sigh. 

“Don’t be afraid of letting go.” Both thrusts ultimately synchronized as it both pushed deep inside of her. 

“What I want,” She cried. “What I want is to cum, please.” 

“Yes, do it.” He grunted. 

She lets go, allowing herself to release her inhibitions as she finished. She clenched around him and the pressure between her ass as her body shuddered. She lowered her mouth to his, giving him a kiss. Kylo Ren returned the act, shooting deep into her, the two moaning in each other’s mouths. His hips came to slow halt before he pulled out of her. The pressure in her ass soon disappeared. 

She was reluctant to move off of him, aware of the mixture of their cum dripping on his abdominal. She sucked her teeth in disapproval before she settled beside him on the bed. “I’m sorry for the mess.” 

“You’re fine.” He reassured indifferently, looking down at the liquid that pooled near his toned stomach. He pushed off the bed, moving away to clean himself off. She studied his gorgeous and sculpted body in awe as he toweled himself off, back facing her. 

“You are as conflicted as I am.” He noted. The comment caught her off guard initially as she remained dumbfounded by his observation. She could bring herself to nod in reluctant agreement, realizing that she couldn’t come to full terms with how she felt let alone verbalize it. Why did she think she could? Why was it troublesome to bring herself to accept that _this_ fucked her up? “We understand each other.” 

Kylo Ren paused midst cleaning, peering back at her. 

“An unspoken whatever the fuck this is. I don’t need to hear you say anything about this (“ _Or to admit anything anymore._ ”).”

He swiftly tousled his hair, making his way to the bed to sit next to her. Moments of silence passed and she found herself stealing a glance to see him. He had a look on his face of concentration, deep in whatever thought was keeping him at bay from talking to her, to looking at her. His face was distraught and taunt with a variety of emotions - fear, remorse perhaps? His mouth opened slightly, then closed. 

She just knew that he wanted to say something to her, but she doesn’t have it in her to hear it. She doesn’t have the courage to sit through whatever confession was bubbling near the surface. She doesn’t want to believe for a second - “Can I go wash off?” Just like that, the moment is gone. 

She watched him as he invisibly (to others, but not to her) deflated, staring down as he gestured behind him. He duly mumbled the sequence required to open his bathroom. She moved away, thanked him mentally, both for the code and for allowing her to break away from the dangerous intimacy of being near each other. 

She couldn’t handle it, this whole situation. Despite the sex, despite the numerous times she’s felt his hands graze her body, the times she’s felt him cum because of her, she could never deal with the aftermath of attempted closeness that he seemingly wanted to express to her. This sex was easy, the entirety that followed was not. She wondered why, briefly, before she mentally kicked herself for knowing the answer.

* * *

It was awhile before she finished showering. But something about the warm jets of water hitting against her skin comforted her. After she stepped out, she slipped into some spare clothing (large shirt, and her recycled skirt) she found after rummaging around in Kylo Ren’s bathroom long enough. 

She caught her reflection in the mirror as she exited out, and stared back into the image of her. It felt surreal to be looking at herself stand in the room that belonged to her captor, the man who nearly killed her during their first encounter. Now he was patiently awaiting her return and she had to go back out there and face him.

The bedroom was rather quiet, despite the sound of the ship working as a whole around them. There was a faint sound of breathing that she heard, and soon she saw Kylo Ren fast asleep on his bed, half naked. 

She stood frozen, studying him in such a gentle and vulnerable state. This was indeed the second time she’s seen him like this (or that he’s allowed himself to be this way around her), and she can’t help but feel a gnawing feeling of melancholy in the pit of her stomach. She knew what she had to do, how she had no time to waste because she was given a grand opportunity to escape.

Still, she felt undeniable sadness within her for her departure and wondered if at all he felt the same upon seeing her before he left? 

She mentally and physically shook herself free from the tight grasps of her thoughts. Silently, she tip-toed over to the door, attempting to punch in the same code he gave her earlier for the bathroom to the bedroom door. It opened immediately, creating much more noise that she had hoped and glanced back at him to see if it stirred him in any way. He was still fast asleep, unbothered by anything around him. 

She peered out the room, into the elongated hallway that stretched on for what felt like forever; it was empty. 

This was it. Her only moment to flee. Whether or not it would work, or if she could even make it passed this particular corridor she’d find out very soon. 

She could feel herself waver, with the desire to stay back and pursue what could possibly become of them. Or stay back and endure the same old shit she had enduring. It was a gamble, and the odds weren’t in her favor. She exited the room, listening to the door _whoosh_ close behind her. 

She was finally out in the hallway alone.

She rushed to the nearest corner, being attentive to hide behind it as she frantically tried to scrounge up an escape plan. Footsteps echoed through the hall, moving away from her and she spotted a lone Stormtrooper walking down the same hall she was hiding in, back faced to her. He was making his round with weapon in hand.

She knew she had to potentially risk her life, and do something incredibly stupid if this was to work according to her plan. With a deep breath, she sprinted towards him, tackling his body straight onto the ground. His rifle slid a few feet beside him, and she grabbed it, straddled him still and pointed it right between where his eyes would be. 

“Woah, woah.” He responded, voice shaky with fear. He held his hands out in front of him. 

“You wanna get out of this alive?” She threatened, nearly out of breath.

He nodded furiously. 

“Good.” She sighed. (“ _So do I._ ”)

* * *

The Knight of Ren paced down the hallways of the Finalizer with urgency, his face bare but still hid any signs of obvious distress, his tunic trailing behind every stride. He entered the control room of the ship, various First Order employees and subordinates to General Hux scurried around. The general himself was giving out orders to a worker. 

He almost immediately turned around to face Kylo Ren, side-eyeing him in the process. “Ren, what a surprise to see you here considering how preoccupied you’ve been with your affairs.” There was a subtle smirk that followed his remark. 

“Enough. Where is she?” He questioned firmly.

General Hux’s smug expression collapsed instantly. “She escaped?”

Kylo Ren remained silent, moving towards the control panels, surveillance cameras, looking down at the hangar below the room. 

“She could release any gathered intel to the Resistance if she escaped.” Hux pressed angrily as he rushed besides the other man in black. 

His eyes scanned rapidly around the area beneath them. “I don’t care.” He growled, his fists curled tightly.  
“You ‘don’t care’?” Hux sputtered in disbelief. “Supreme leader will be utterly displeased to hear about your carelessness.” He leaned forward, eyes studiously searching for the escaped woman. 

The two spotted her through the sea of workers that walked in assorted directions. She followed a Stormtrooper, rifle nudged behind him in a manner that was hidden to those around them. The two hurried towards a ship.

“There she is!” The general exclaimed, frantically reaching for the intercom. “This is General Hux - an escaped prisoner is now making her way with a hostage to a ship. Eliminate her at - “ A sharp noise of feedback promptly interrupted his demand as Kylo Ren shouted in protest, using his force to shove General Hux away from the mic, sending him against a nearby wall. Confusion arises within the mass of the workers below in the hangar.

“Are you mad?!” Hux struggled initially to stand back up, his kempt outfit crinkled, hair tousled from the unpredicted action. “What has this woman done to you?” He spat. 

“Stand down.” Kylo Ren demanded, stepping in front of him. 

“You’ve grown weak Ren. If you choose not to attend to your duties, then I will.”

* * *

She knew she was deep in shit, running out of time to get into one of these damned ships without being taken as a prisoner (again). She had managed to stay out of public eye as she lagged behind this poor Stormtrooper. But once she heard that red-headed bastard over the intercom, she had begun thinking this wasn’t the best course of action. Those around her scurried around attempting to find her.

“Don’t even think about it.” She muttered to the hostage as the two picked up their pace and nearly sprinted to a nearby TIE fighter. 

“Hey, there she is!” A Stormtrooper from behind shouted. She could hear the various blasters fire in her direction, causing her to do whatever she could to bob and weave out of harm's way, occasionally taking cover. 

“C’mon, we gotta hurry up. Let’s go!” They rushed to the cockpit of the TIE fighter, eagerly waiting for it to open as the two climbed in. The Stormtrooper adjusted himself into the pilot seat, her rifle still pointed at him. “Go!” She urged. 

The ship started up within moments, those around them approached the TIE fighter, still firing at the vehicle. The impact of their blasters nearly shook her around on the inside. After what felt like ages, they finally took off. “We’ll never get past the turrets outside.” He warned. 

“Try your damn hardest to or we both die.” She pressed the tip of the rifle against the temple of his helmet. She kept her gun positioned there, catching sight of the large stationary weapons moving to aim at their ship. 

They managed to outmaneuver the initial blasts. She panicked briefly, wondering how much farther they could get before being hit. The machines' shooting came to a rapid halt, astounding both her and her pilot. 

She gazed back, searching for an answer as to why their fire ceased. In the distance, she gazed back at Kylo Ren who stood motionless in the control room, staring back at her, watching her as she departed. She can’t see the gingered hair bastard, questioning where he could have been. She knew he was the one who made the order for those to attack her. What she doesn’t know was what interrupted his broadcast, but she wanted so desperately to believe - to fool herself into thinking that Kylo Ren did. 

He doesn’t appear livid at her escape, not even in the slightest. She can read relief and a hint of sadness that wash over his face. She continued to look at him, wanting the last sight of him to burn into her head so she could never forget, not like she could.

She’d always remember what he did for _her_. 

The TIE fighter eventually took off at full speed, descending far away from the Finalizer. She watched as it seemingly vanished into nothingness.

* * *

It was within her best interest (and safety) to never return back to the shithole of a planet she called her home. She decided it was time to abandon the mercenary lifestyle and for once try to live a normal, somewhat decent life. It didn’t take her much time to come to such a decision.

She quickly relocated to the outer rim territories, the planet Molavar to be exact. She ditched the TIE fighter, not wanting to drag along any evidence of her “escapade” with the First Order as well as ridding of the Stormtrooper before wandering into the nearest spaceport. 

It felt unreal to be surrounded by those who weren’t immediately out to attack her, arrest her, and they all walked around her carrying on with their own lives, minding their own business. It did make it difficult for her in the very beginning, trying to job hunt with virtually no one hiring. 

An older woman took an interest in her, thinking she was “well-bodied” enough to do some moisture farming, and even was generous enough to offer her a room to stay in exchange for work. Neither one of them bothered to get to know one another for the first few days.

However, it isn’t until one day the older woman is preparing dinner that she popped the question, “What are you running from?”

She nearly froze as she was setting the placements on the dining table. “What?”

“Believe it or not, I wasn’t born yesterday.” The woman joked, rolling her eyes. “You came here, all bugged eyed, relentlessly asking around for work. You owe someone money??”

She doesn’t answer. 

The woman cocked an eyebrow. “Bounty on you?”

“No.” She mumbled apprehensively. “Does it matter?”

“It does if it’ll cause me trouble, especially if I’m harboring some fugitive!” 

She doesn’t want to think of the First Order actually making an attempt to search for her. It frightened her, but at the same time was she really a priority to them? “I don’t think I’ll be here that long to be trouble for you ma’am.”

“Look, whatever or whoever you’re running from - could be a matter of time ‘til they find you, or ‘til it consumes you.” The woman settled the food on the table. “But don’t let the past make you fear the future.”

She nodded, not really paying much heart to her boss’ advice, spoon digging into the questionable goop. 

“Come to terms with your mistakes, make peace with whatever is eating away at you.”

“Easier said than done.” She muttered, mid-chew.

The older woman slapped her hand with a wooden spoon, scolding her to close her mouth.

She does so, her other hand trying to soothe the stinging pain. “Ouch.”

The two resume dinner, silently. But inside her mind, she felt and heard the jumbled thoughts bounce around her head violently. So many questions she wanted answers to, so many questions she wished she could ask out loud just so that she could feel some relief to finally vocalizing them. “Do you think everything happens for a reason?” She ended up blurting. 

The woman stops chewing, almost hesitating to answer her question. “Yes, or lack thereof. Sometimes things do and don’t happen for reasons.” It’s a simple response that resonated within her throughout the rest of her meal. 

She doesn’t say another word, her thoughts wandering off as she started to humor herself into thinking that this entire situation, this entire fucked-up-beyond-all-recognition event was supposed to happen the way it did. That she was meant to meet Kylo Ren, have him shake her to her very core, for better or for worse. Maybe even she shook him, even in the slightest. She imagined what would have happened in a different life - or in an alternate universe. But this was the one she was living in and the cards she was dealt with. 

Not a day goes by that she doesn’t think of him, or sees something that stupidly reminded her of him - the man in black who saved her (maybe from herself, who knows?). She pathetically hoped that maybe he thought of her, even if she occurred to him once in a blue moon as a distant memory, an easily forgettable prisoner, or even as a floater.

**FIN**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> all...things must come to an end. major gratitude to those who supported this series, kudo's, commented, bookmarked, rec’d it. again, thanks to all of you for being patient and bearing with me as i churned out the final chapter. hope you all enjoyed this fucked up ride and the ending doesn’t leave you feeling too unresolved??? hope to see you all again soon. this shan’t be the last kylo ren/reader fic you’ll read from me :-) <3

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading. tune in next time for MORE SMUT (who would have fuckin guessed)!!!!!!


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